A Lone Wolf
by NeonDomino
Summary: Remus Lupin has a secret. He's a werewolf. Thats why he won't let anyone be his friend and pulls away. Sirius and James are determined to be friends with the quiet boy they share a room with but what will they make of his secret? Especially after someone sends them to the shrieking shack to find him. Set at the beginning of their 7th year. M RATING. Slash RL/SB Also a bit of JP/LE
1. Chapter 1

Challenge details - The Sherlock Challenge:

**Part 1: A Study in Pink 1. "You just wrote 'still has trust issues'." John doesn't trust easily – Write about somebody who doesn't make friends that easily; alternatively, write about Tom Riddle. Due Date: Nov. 1st**

**The first chapter is part of the challenge, but I wrote so much more and can't give this up as just a one-shot so I will be continuing this story further.**

**I chose to write about someone who doesn't make friends out of choice.**

**M for later chapters, and if you haven't guessed by the names on this, it will be a slash. If you don't like slash you are really reading the wrong thing and you should hit the back button on your browser. If you like slash I hope you like this. Please comment and let me know what you think.**

* * *

Another morning of waking up in complete and utter agony. Feeling each and every cut that was on his body. He hissed as a slight chill came into the air and made them all the more sensitive. The blood was tricking down his body from the worst openings and he could feel each and every drop as it made its descent.

For what felt like a long time he lay still, trying to calm his mind and focus on what he needed to do. He slowly managed to start moving around, testing his body for unknown breaks and injuries.

He let out a sigh in relief as he realised that nothing had broken or dislocated, although he felt a few pulled muscles, but those he could deal with. He slowly stood up and wrapped the blanket around himself, and just in time as he heard Madame Pomfrey coming up the stairs.

She came in with a smile full of pity and asked him how he was doing. He answered politely and offered her a weak smile, but on the inside wondered if she believed him every time he answered. He wouldn't have believed it himself, if someone said the same after going through that. He always found it a silly question, because he had just undergone two transformations, one from Human to Wolf and then transforming back. It was pure agony.

She handed him a bundle of clothes and went to wait outside the door and he slowly got dressed.

It was this precise moment every month when he felt the loneliest, when he woke up in agony alone. He had been doing it by himself since he was 9, His mother used to be there with a blanket from when he first started turning when he was a small child, but slowly his mother withdrew as he got older. At first she would be waiting, then when he was 8, she would turn up after he woke up and called for her. That also stopped when he was old enough to go to Hogwarts.

When he went home on holidays, he would awake to find clean clothes and a blanket put by the door and that's what hurt the most. One of his parents had come in whilst he was asleep and put the stuff there and left. Left their own son laying on the floor in pain, injured and bleeding.

What he wouldn't give to wake up with someone there, someone who would care about him. He didn't want their pity or sympathy, just to not wake up alone. Always alone.

Just to have a friend.

He made his way out of the room and followed Madame Pomfrey up the passage and into the school. The women stopping every so often to ask if he was alright, which annoyed him, but he never showed this and he always answered politely. Not that he didn't like the women, he had a closer relationship with her then with his own parents, she actually seemed to care a little bit. His parents done the bare minimum.

But he still felt so alone.

Finally they arrived at the hospital wing and he laid down so he could be healed. It took a long time, many cuts and bites where he mauled himself would take time to heal. He smiled and nodded as Madame Pomfrey hold him this, instead of snapping at her that he knew. Snapping wouldn't help, she was only helping after all.

He glanced around and saw only two other students in there, both with their eyes shut and assumed that they were asleep. If he had been more observant he would have noticed one of these boys had taken a peek at him coming into the hospital wing and was starting to notice a pattern in his days off. No, Remus didn't notice this.

Finally he was given the all clear to return to his dorm and take the day off lessons.

Remus walked through the common room as though he wasn't going to collapse, he walked up to the dorm in the same way. He didn't want anyone to notice because if they did they might start asking questions, he acted like he was fine. The bags under his eyes could be explained by lack of sleep, and no-one would see the scars up and down his body as he always made sure to wear something with long sleeves.

He opened the door to his dorm to see two boys getting ready for lessons.

They looked up at him and greeted him. Over the years he had somewhat gotten to know the boys he shared a room with but never let himself become to close with them.

Occasionally he would help Sirius Black with homework, and in return Sirius would always bring him back a set of notes from all the lessons he missed when he 'went to visit his mother'... Well that was the excuse he used, they would freak out should they know the truth - that they were sharing a room with a monster.

Not that the boys didn't try - they offered him something he wanted more than anything; friendship.

But he held back from that, what good is making friends if they guessed what he was and left him - left him the way his parents left him. Yes his parents were still there but it was clear it was because they had to be. He knew that they didn't want him. They may as well be strangers rather than him being their child... No, he couldn't allow himself the luxury of friends.

Better to not have any friends to lose, then to lose someone he selfishly allowed himself to get attached to.

Surely its just easier to be alone. He had gotten used to it over the years after all.

* * *

**Review please, let me know what you like and what you don't like.**

**Will be multi-chapter so if you like this please follow it and I'll have the next chapter up really soon.**


	2. Chapter 2

**A/N - The first chapter of this (as you can see in the previous notes) was entered into the Sherlock Challenge, Part 1 - prompt 1, and ****guess what! - it came third! I'm so excited as none of my stories have placed in anything in the past, so thought I would share.**

**I own nothing.**

**Thanks to anyone who reviewed or followed this story. Love reading reviews and getting email notifications saying someone has followed/added to favourites! **

* * *

Remus' eyes met a pair of grey eyes and he looked away quickly. He could see concern in those eyes and didn't want the questions to start again. He quickly grabbed his things and started for the bathroom without a word.

He paid no attention to the pair of grey eyes that followed his every movement.

He didn't see the amused Hazel eyed boy making kissing faces towards the boy with the grey eyes and for him to roll his eyes and grin in response.

He just made his way to the bathroom. As he reached the door he heard someone ask him a question.

"How's your mum doing?" Sirius Black asked him in his smooth tones that made Remus shiver slightly.

Remus turned and looked at him for a moment, trying to school his features. "She's a little bit better than usual."

Sirius gave him a smile that made his breath catch. "That's good. Will that mean you go back and visit less... or what?"

Remus forced a smile onto his face. "I'll just have to see how her recovery goes."

Sirius watched him turn back around and open the door.

"You're staring again," James said, once Remus had locked himself in the bathroom. Sirius let out a pained sigh. "Do you blame me, his arse is so..." He bit his lip, trying to find the word.

"I don't need to know your current opinion on Remus' arse," James said with a sigh.

"Good because I don't have enough time to explain what I like about it," Sirius replied with a smirk.

They finished getting ready in silence.

Remus closed the bathroom door behind him and locked it. He let out a breath and slowly made his way to the shower, tenderly and carefully washing every inch of his body, taking extra care around the scars and wounds he had caused himself that month. They were agony to the touch.

Slowly he managed and then got himself into his pyjamas and slowly made his way out to go to bed. The dorm was empty and Remus dragged the covers over himself and took one of the potions he had been given for pain and fell asleep within minutes.

"I think we need to speak to Professor McGonagall again," Sirius decided.

"She said that there's nothing wrong with him?" James replied.

"There's gotta be, he goes home to his family and comes back hurt. Monthly without fail!" Sirius was frowning, trying to work out what to do.

"Maybe there's an explanation?" James said.

"What could it be, someone is hurting him and I can't let it happen again."

"Mate I don't like it either, but McGonagall and Dumbledore have both already told you that he's fine. What next?"

"I borrow the cloak and... and," Sirius paused in thought, trying desperately to come up with a plan.

"And what? You stalk him at his home where he's looking after his sick mother?"

"I've got to do something mate! What would you do if it were Evans?"

James froze, what would he do? Of course he would try help her, try talking to her. He would go to the teachers and insist they talk to her or even kidnap her from her home to keep her safe, well maybe not kidnap her but he would find a way to get her away from any danger.

"We'll try come up with something before he leaves again, we'll work something out," James replied, putting his hand on Sirius' shoulder.

"Like what? I can't keep seeing him come back like this time and time again. Look at him, it's not good for him. What if one month he goes and there's no Remus to return to us?"

James stayed silent. He knew how the situation was working in Sirius' head. He understood the other boys concerns but he couldn't think of anything to say or do to make the situation better or to help Remus if the Professors wouldn't help.

At least they had a few weeks before Remus would go back to think of something.

* * *

**Please review - as I've said before, I love reviews! :)**


	3. Chapter 3

**A/N Thanks to everyone who has followed or favourited the story. thanks to my Beta Michy Drarry Shipper for all the help on this story, making it good enough to post.**

**If you like WolfStar, I would suggest checking out the writer SiriusSmut and the story 'Study Time With Friends' which I would have to say is my favourite WolfStar story ever. Trust me its worth reading!**

**Please review once you've read the chapter, let me know what you like, what you don't like and what you'd like to see happen :)**

* * *

Sirius took that day to think about everything that was going on and examine the theories that he had developed over the months. He concluded that Remus was suffering from abuse at home.

Obviously, a kind person like Remus would go home and look after his mother, that's the kind of person he was, but someone else - his father perhaps - was hitting him, beating him and sending him back. It was just wrong.

Sirius had been on the receiving end of many beatings from his own father, as well as curses and hexes from his mother; the curses growing darker each time he returned home. He knew all about hiding the marks that wouldn't disappear by magic with long sleeves and locking doors to get changed alone, in the same way that he saw Remus trying to keep his body hidden from the boys.

He knew all about pretending all was well and he could tell when someone else was suffering like he had, and from the look on Remus' face each time he returned, he was in agony. He was tired and would miss lessons. He needed help. Professor McGonagall wasn't helping and nor was Dumbledore. Sirius was the only one who seemed to care, so it seemed that it was down to him and James to do something about it.

He put a lot of thought into what to do - whilst taking notes for Remus during lessons of course. He knew how important Remus' studies were to him and he wouldn't let him down with incomplete notes. In History of Magic, he asked Lily for her notes. The girl glared at him, but handed the notes over nonetheless. He could never stay awake for that lesson, so he used it instead to catch up on sleep that he missed the previous night worrying about Remus.

Sirius' decided he had two options; go to the Lupin's and see for himself what was going on, which wouldn't have been a problem if he knew where they lived and used James' cloak, or convince Remus not to go home. Unfortunately, he didn't know where they lived and if Remus had a choice in the matter in the first place, he wouldn't choose to return home, would he? Sirius only returned to his house when he had to, during the summer holidays, as his other holidays were spent at the castle... This summer, he had finally gotten away from his family and in stayed with the Potters.

Sirius realised that Remus didn't have an escape like he did. Remus didn't have anyone to talk to, to confide in. He didn't have anyone to take him in, should he run away. That must have been why he always went back - because he had no other choice.

Sirius knew what he had to do. He had to show Remus that he had someone who cared about him, a friend... someone to confide in, someone he could trust. Someone who knew what it was like going through such an awful home life.

He decided that after dinner, he would force Remus to listen to what he had to say. He would not ask questions, just explain why Remus should accept him as a friend, and then if Remus said no, Sirius would just somehow attach himself to him so that Remus would be forced to be best friends with Sirius Black. Then he would wait for Remus to come to him and ask him for help and he would do everything he could do help. If they made it till the end of the year, Remus would rent a place with him and James, safely away from evil family members.

He grinned at his idea. He just had to convince James and make sure Remus and James became friends too.

**~oOo~**

During dinner, James noticed Sirius putting aside some food and desert to bring up to the room for Remus. Sirius barely said a word during dinner, which was unlike him.

They left the hall and James asked him what was on his mind.

"When we leave school I want to invite Remus to stay with us, I don't want him going back to his family," came the reply.

James frowned for a moment as he thought about it. "Are you sure because..."

"We made a deal James. I agreed that if Evans ever needed help, no matter what it was, I would help her and you said that you would do the same should I care enough about someone," interrupted Sirius.

James nodded. "But living with us..."

"If it was Lily needing to live with us, what would you say?"

James sighed before answering. "I'd say yes without even asking you. You're right - Remus can stay with us."

"It's not like it'll be much different. I mean we live with him now and he doesn't have any annoying habits, he doesn't irritate us or anything. He's quite tidy, actually, so that helps."

"It's fine, I already said I agree... I shouldn't have questioned it. I just didn't realize..."

"Realise what, mate?"

"Well, it's just that this is the second time you've compared him to Lily... "

Sirius stared at him.

"Ok, well I like her, really like her. I know I'd be in love with her if she just gave me a chance because I feel that strongly for her... I feel a connection with her, even if she pretends it's not there. I know she feels it too, but you already know this. My point is, you talk about Remus as though he's your version of what Lily is to me."

Sirius looked away. "James, I can't explain... I really do care for the guy and don't want to see him hurt and I do feel something for him, maybe it's a bit more than wanting to just shag him, but..." Sirius muttered.

"I think you know exactly how you feel about him, but you're scared to admit that you, Sirius Black could have deeper feelings for someone. I also see the way you look at him, whether you admit anything or not and the looks you give him tell me all I need to know," James interrupted.

Sirius shrugged and continued walking towards the room.

"I'll drop it for now, but sooner or later you're going to have to admit it - especially if you want to use 'what would I do if it were Lily' again," James added.

They reached the room and Sirius turned to James. "I'm going to talk to him about what happened to me, so if you can be busy for a few hours?"

James grinned and nodded. "Sure thing, let me grab my broom and change and I'll be out of your way."

James opened the door and headed straight to his bed. Sirius walked over to Remus who was coming out of the bathroom.

"You missed dinner," Sirius said and Remus nodded.

"Just about to get some now," he replied, trying to step around Sirius.

Sirius held out the container to him with a grin. "No need, I brought you some up. Dinner's over now."

Remus looked surprised. "Oh, well thanks for that." He took the food as James rushed around and Sirius quickly cleared the books off Remus' desk and set them on his bed, grabbed a blanket and set it over the table, transfigured a plate and some cutlery and turned around with a grin.

"Your table is ready. I considered a glass with a flower like the muggles do but is that over doing it?"

Remus grinned. "I happen to like flowers when I eat... Plus, when have you ever worried about overdoing anything?"

Sirius smirked. "Good point," he said and with a flick of his wand a glass with a red rose appeared, and some candles lit up.

"A rose and candles - How romantic," Remus chuckled.

Sirius winked at him. "I can be when I want to be."

He walked over to his bed with his bag as James left the room with his broom and pulled out his notes for the day, and Lily's History of Magic notes.

"You fell asleep in History of Magic again?" Remus asked, tipping the chicken, potatoes and vegetables onto the plate, and draining the gravy out of the tub.

Sirius nodded. "Couldn't keep my eyes open. I don't know what it is about that lesson, but I can't concentrate no matter how hard I try."

Remus nodded. "Need me to go over it with you again?"

"Yeah, just let me know when you're able, thanks Remus."

Remus nodded and started to eat. Sirius jumped onto his bed and lay down, waiting for Remus to finish his food. He distracted himself until Remus had almost finished and then looked over to find Remus getting up.

"Did I mention I got desert too?"

Remus looked up.

"Its chocolate cake in case you're wondering, but I didn't have dessert myself so if you don't mind sharing it?."

Remus smiled shyly at him. "Chocolate cake? I don't mind sharing, I didn't expect anything brought up for me. It's really good of you Sirius."

Remus transfigured a couple of spoons as Sirius got up from the bed, he was slightly distracted by the other boy and as he moved the other container out of the way, he accidentally knocked a spoon to the floor. He reached down to pick it up and upon standing, his arm smacked into the corner of the table, hard.

"Fuck." He swore and turned away from Sirius as he felt a fresh cut on his arm pull and felt the blood on his arm.

Sirius looked at Remus and saw the other boy turn his back. He walked over, noticing blood staining his sleeve. He spun Remus around and started to push up his sleeve, but Remus tried to stop him.

"Lupin if you've cut your arm I can heal it."

Remus looked extremely uncomfortable as Sirius held fast and continued to roll his sleeve up. He caught sight of a deep cut the length of Remus' arm. Seeing the look on Remus' face, he didn't ask questions. He knew if he did, Remus would most likely bolt from the room.

"I have something that can heal this, let me?" he asked, his concerned gaze meeting a pair of worried green eyes. He didn't look back down at Remus' arm until the other boy nodded reluctantly.

He got a bowl of water, a towel and a flannel from the bathroom and some Essence of Dittany from his trunk. He knelt on the floor in front of Remus and pushed Remus' sleeve up. He slowly wiped the blood away and dried it carefully with the towel.

"This will sting," he said softly, looking up at Remus, who was staring into his own lap and biting his lip. Sirius carefully applied the Essence of Dittany and wrapped a bandage around Remus' arm until the wound was covered. He moved away a little bit and used his wand to bind the end of the bandage, ensuring it didn't unravel by itself.

"I'm not going to ask because I know you can't tell me anything. I think you should find a clean top, preferably with no blood on it and go change while I share the cake out for us," Sirius said softly to him. Remus nodded, relieved to get away from Sirius and quickly grabbed his pyjamas and went into the bathroom.

Sirius didn't look up as Remus came out of the bathroom and approached him.

"The cut on my arm..." he started.

Sirius Interrupted him, "Remus, every month you go home and you come back hurt. I don't want you to feel as though you're forced into tell me what happened, and I don't want an excuse. I'd rather you wait until you're ready to tell me yourself, I want you to tell me because you trust me as a friend."

"We're friends?" Remus asked, sounding completely confused.

"Well... Yeah, if you'd like. I mean I want to be your friend..."

Remus was unsure how to handle the situation. He knew he should refuse Sirius' offer of friendship, but Sirius had brought him up dinner - chicken and roast potatoes with vegetables smothered in gravy, just as Remus liked. Set the table up for him, and brought him chocolate cake and the days notes. Sirius had not questioned him over his arm, instead taking care in cleaning it and healing it as gently as possible. Remus couldn't find it in himself to refuse any longer. Sirius had been trying since their first year, it was now their seventh and Remus didn't want to be so alone anymore. It was nice to feel that Sirius cared..

"I'd like that," he said softly, meeting Sirius gaze.

Sirius pushed the larger piece of chocolate cake towards Remus with a grin. "Enjoy."

Remus tried to refuse the larger piece but Sirius was stubborn and the way he was grinning at Remus made Remus want to agree with him on just about anything.

They both picked up their forks and started the most awkward meal of their lives. Sirius quickly realized that Remus eating and enjoying chocolate cake, the way he closed his eyes and savoured each bite was almost too much for him to watch. He quickly looked away every time Remus opened his eyes again and looked at him.

Remus on the other hand could barely stand watching Sirius lick the chocolate off his fingers afterwards. It was as though the boy was doing it to torment him and Remus could barely pull his gaze away from Sirius.

They were both determined not to stare at the other boy, and were so busy trying to pretend they weren't staring that they didn't notice the other having the same difficulty. Finally they finished and Sirius tidied up, and pulled out some bottles of Butterbeer, handing one to Remus, who was finding the whole evening quite surreal and wondering if he had actually woken up at all.

After they had opened their drinks, Sirius decided it was time.

"So Remus, I know I said I'm not going to ask, but that doesn't mean I'm not going to talk and I expect you to listen to what I have to say," Sirius began.

* * *

**Reviews make me happy :)**


	4. Chapter 4

**A/N**

**I own nothing.**

**Hope you enjoy this chapter. Please review and let me know what you like or want to see. I love getting reviews so I know you're all enjoying the story.**

**Thanks to Michy Drarry Shipper for being my Beta for this story (and some others).**

**:)**

* * *

Sirius had made the decision to tell Remus about his own past. He wanted Remus to realise that he wasn't alone in this, that others have suffered and made it through. That he could trust Sirius not to judge him. Maybe he could talk to Sirius if he realised that Sirius understood.

Remus felt worried, Sirius had seen his arm and was now making him sit down and talk. It made him wonder if Sirius had figured it out. He doubted it because if Sirius had, then he wouldn't have been so careful with cleaning Remus' arm.

Sirius cleared his throat nervously. He saw the panicked look in Remus' eyes.

"I ran away from home during the summer," he began. "My parents - my insane parents - got too much, I thought I'd die if I stayed there longer. They've been beating me for years, each summer that passed it got worse and worse until this one gone."

Remus was shocked. The conversation was unexpected and he didn't know what to say.

"It all started when I came here. When I was sorted into Gryffindor, well I think that was strike one, being friends with a member of the Potter family - that was strike two and strike three was refusing to believe all their pure-blood supremacy."

He bit his lip nervously. "At first the beatings were very few and far between. Mostly the first summer consisted of them screaming and shouting at me. The second and third summer I was ignored, unless they were beating me of course. It was as though I didn't exist the rest of the time, I wasn't even allowed to leave my room. No owls from friends, no going out of the house - I was a prisoner."

Remus went to speak but Sirius continued before any words could leave Remus' mouth.

"The next summer between fourth and fifth year that's when it got worse. The beatings got more regular. My brother who had found them ignoring me a high form of entertainment - even he was shocked at what was happening in our home. He would try calm them down, or would try to stop them but they didn't even listen to him. They hated me and they made it clear. They knew everything I done at school - every prank, every friend I had... Each and every thing I done was a taint on the family name. The Potters are considered Blood traitors so it was wrong for a Black and a Potter to be friends."

"Sirius..."

"Please Remus... just let me get this all out. It's not something I like to talk about and I don't think I can talk about it again." Sirius said quickly.

Remus nodded.

He was worried if Remus showed sympathy or distracted him from his words, he may lose the nerve to share. It was hard to talk about, he had suffered in silence for so long, scared to tell anyone what he was going through, scared of peoples reactions, and if they would believe him.

It wasn't until it was at his worst that he actually was able to leave, and he didn't want that for Remus.

"The summer between fifth and sixth year was the worst, the beatings were extreme. They happened daily and I wasn't able to leave the house. The wards stopped me leaving. I wasn't even allowed to go to the hospital, instead Reggie would wait until my parents were done and would sneak in, heal me, get me food and drag me to bed. This summer however was a whole other story.

It got worse, I was beaten unconscious at times and then the truth came out - a secret I'd been keeping was revealed when they found private things in my room and it was the ultimate betrayal to them. I was never going to be the heir to the family, that much was clear. They tried to force me to... take his mark - the dark mark, telling me it was a way to redeem myself, well, that and change who I am and who I want... I mean everything about myself. I refused and they would torture me daily, with hexes and finally after a nasty bout of the Cruciatus curse, they left me unconscious on the floor.

Reggie healed me but didn't wake me, and when I finally woke it was night-time. I believe it was so my parents would leave me alone. The wards had been taken down and my trunk was by the door. I thought my parents were giving me permission to leave, but there was a note in my pocket from my brother. It was spelled so once I finished reading, it would disappear, but it was basically a letter telling me to run tonight, because it could be my only chance. So I did. I snuck out and made my way up the road. I was close to collapsing and managed to summon the Knight Bus, I asked to go to the Potters, I couldn't even afford the bus, had to ask James for the money once I arrived at his."

He paused for a long time, Remus was unsure whether the story was finished. He stayed silent, watching Sirius. Sirius had lost himself in the story, picturing that moment in his head again, remembering how much it hurt to get off the floor, how unsteady his legs were and how he was terrified that one of his parents would follow him out or catch him leaving. He hadn't felt safe until he had actually got into the Potters home.

"My uncle came and sorted me out with some a few days later when he found out what had happened. He had a falling out with my mum over it, heard from Reggie that his name has been hexed off the family tree as well as mine."

Sirius rolled up one of his sleeves. "Cursed blade," he explained and pointed to some scars. "There are more because my parents are sadistic. They wanted to hear me scream but I wouldn't."

Remus had worked out what was going through Sirius' mind through the story.

"I know you didn't ask for my life story, but I just wanted to say if something is going on at your home, you don't have to be alone. Having friends can help you and even save your life."

He reached out and put his hand on Remus' arm, resisting the urge to take his hand. "I can't help but worry about you, you look like I felt after my parents were done with me. I could at least come here and not return until the following summer, whereas you're always called back home and come back hurt over and over. I won't ask questions because I know you won't answer them, but when you're ready..."

Remus swallowed nervously. "I... its more complicated than you think Sirius, I'd rather not discuss it right now, but thank you. It's nice to know someone cares. I'm glad you had James to help you. I'm sorry, I didn't realise..."

Sirius waved it off. "They always left me alone the last couple of weeks so I was healed by the time I returned, there was nothing to notice by that point. It even took James a while to notice."

He paused and thought back on what Remus had said, and his face dropped into a frown. "I'm sure there are a lot of people who care about you mate," he said.

Remus' gaze dropped from Sirius' and he started rubbing the back of his neck with his free arm.

"Just so we're clear here, if you need anything. Anything at all, I mean someone to talk to, or to help with anything, if you need to run away, or just get out for a few days, or just need someone to sit with you in silence, or to heal you, I want you to come to me. I don't want to see you hurt and alone again, and you won't be alone because you have me and James now."

Remus looked up quickly. "I'll always be hurt Sirius, there's nothing that can be done about..." he trailed off, realising that there wasn't much for him to say that wouldn't give his secret away.

Sirius' eyes narrowed. "You don't have to go home next time, or maybe I could go with you that way you could still see your mum... We could speak to Dumbledore about it?"

Remus closed his eyes as he felt tears prickle behind them. He knew he should be alone, he shouldn't let people get close to him, but he was so alone. He couldn't take it much longer.

That evening had been something special to him. He had a friend, someone who actually noticed he was missing from dinner. Someone who took the time to get him food and notes and even after 6 years of Remus brushing him off, still wanted to be his friend. He had shared something big with Remus and he cared about him. Remus had forgotten what it felt like to mean something to someone.

He knew Sirius wouldn't want to know him when he found out the truth, but for now he would allow himself the privilege of having Sirius Black as his friend.

"I can't promise anything Sirius, I can't do anything right now... But thank you for caring, and thank you for trusting me with your story."

"Of course I care, Remus," Sirius smiled softly at him. He actually more then cared but that would be too much to tell Remus at that time.

As Sirius stood up, Remus quickly grabbed his sleeve. Sirius stopped and quickly sat back down.

Remus had realised something at that moment, it wasn't just him that needed Sirius, Sirius seemed to need him too.

"I know I'm not able to talk right now, but everything you said... If I need someone for whatever reason... Well, that works both ways. If you need anything, then let me know," Remus said softly.

Sirius stood up again and put his hand on Remus' shoulder. "Thanks mate, I'll keep that in mind."

Remus hesitated for a moment. "What was your big secret?" He asked.

Sirius looked sad. "If I tell you, you might look at me different, you might not want to be my friend," he said softly and Remus smiled at him.

"I don't think that's possible Sirius," he replied.

Sirius returned his smile. "Maybe one day I'll be able to tell you," he replied. "I'll hold you to that promise if I ever need to talk as long as you do the same."

As Sirius walked away, he felt a bit lighter, it was hard to talk about what had happened, it still hurt to think about, but even though his parents had done so much to him, the bad memories always reminded him that his brother had helped him escape. He hoped that his story somehow made a difference with Remus.

* * *

**Please review :)**


	5. Chapter 5

**A/N - I own nothing**

**Please enjoy this chapter.**

**Its about twice as long as usual, but there didn't seem to be a good place to break it, so you all get extra.**

**Thanks again to my beta - Michy Drarry Shipper**

**Please review, let me know what you like, what you want to see more of, your favourite part... - anything really :)**

* * *

The next morning, James left the room quickly to allow Sirius some time alone with Remus, so he could tend to his arm. Sirius knew firsthand how it felt to have someone else tend to you. Regulus, his brother, and Dorea Potter, who was like a mother to him, had both taken care and patience in healing him.

It meant a lot because it showed they cared, and he was determined that Remus know that Sirius cared about him.

Remus felt a bit ashamed that he allowed Sirius to tend his arm without fuss. He wasn't used to someone being so tender and caring towards him. Madame Pomfrey was kind, but it was never like this, and his parents didn't care in the slightest.

Sirius gave Remus a soft smile, as he gently stuck the bandage into place to stop it unravelling. "Thank you, Sirius," Remus said, looking up and meeting Sirius' eyes.

"Anytime, Remus," Sirius responded, still smiling at Remus. "Do you want to go down to breakfast?"

Remus nodded and rolled down his sleeve, and they headed down.

"Hey, you were quick," James said, keeping his eyes on Lily Evans.

As Sirius went to answer, he was stopped by Lily. "Oh Remus, please don't tell me you've become friends with these degenerates?"

Remus nodded. "Yeah, I have," he replied, looking between James and Sirius shyly.

"Yeah, he's one of us now, Lilykins," James said, grinning back at the shy boy.

Lily let out a groan. "You seemed so sensible, Remus, a lapse in your good judgement clearly."

Remus raised his eyebrow. "Not being friends with them sooner was the lapse, actually," he said mildly.

Lily raised her eyebrows at the usually quiet boy, before turning back to her friends.

"How often do you study with Evans?" James asked suddenly.

"Well, we do a study group once a week, and when we have a lot of homework we study together a bit more."

James nodded in thought. "Well, I have a brilliant idea. It'll take a month, but..."

"No, you're not going to use Polyjuice to become me," Remus interrupted, taking a very accurate guess at what James was asking. "I don't know how that would help either, because if you made a move on her, she'd think it was me making the move. If she found out that you had Polyjuiced into me, she'd be even angrier at you, and when you choose to talk about how wonderful James Potter is, rather than studying, she'd suspect something, or she'd think I had a thing for you."

James nodded as Sirius laughed. "I see where you're coming from... Well, can you put in a good word for me?" He asked, with a glance in Lily's direction to make sure she wasn't listening.

Remus smirked. "Somehow I don't think anything I say would help... but I'll try anyway," he offered, gaining a small smile from James.

James sat back in place, and they both looked at Sirius, who was glaring at the Slytherin table.

"Snape keep staring over here," he said in way of explanation.

They both followed his gaze, to see a smug-looking Snape whose eyes were locked with Sirius'. Snape looked away and breakfast continued.

As they ate, Remus listened to the boys chatting about pranks, Lily Evans, Halloween, Lily Evans, Quidditch and then back to Lily Evans. Remus was impressed how James could take a comment about Bludgers and somehow turn it back to talking about Lily Evans. The boy really was obsessed.

Throughout the day, Remus realised the boys were making sure that he was included in their group. James pushed him into Sirius' usual seat during Transfiguration. "From now on you sit with me in Transfiguration and Sirius in Potions."

"Oh no, you don't have to..." Remus started, trying to get up to go to his usual seat.

James blocked him. "We want to – you're one of us now, Remus. Me and Sirius take all the same classes, so we can sit together in other ones, we want to sit with you sometimes too," James explained with a smile.

"Funny how you're taking my seat in Potions, when I usually sit with Lily..." Remus pointed out, his eyebrows raised and a smirk on his lips.

James returned the smirk. "What can I say, the opportunity presented itself. I'm sure she'd rather sit with me then Sirius."

When it was time for Potions, Lily Evans was not impressed when she saw Remus sit next to Sirius. She glared in their direction, but Remus avoided looking towards her.

"Looking lovely as ever, Evans," James said, walking up to her table appearing awestruck by her mere presence.

Lily scowled at him as he slid into the seat next to her. "Shut up, Potter," she growled, slamming her potions book onto the desk.

Sirius and Remus tried to stifle their laughter. Potions would be very entertaining with James and Lily to entertain them.

**~oOo~**

The next three weeks went by quickly. Remus was trying to get used to people staring at him because he was hanging out with Sirius and James.

"It's because we're a very exclusive club, you see," Sirius pointed out. "The whole school wants to be friends with us and we only want to be friends with you. The girls, they're awestruck that the three best looking boys in school are hanging out together, they want to be our... What's the word that muggles use?"

"Groupies?" Remus suggested.

"Yeah, that's the one," Sirius said.

"Sirius, you talk a load of crap, you know?" Remus said, an amused look crossing his face.

"Yeah, I know, but its making you laugh at least," Sirius replied.

"So do you make the most of the groupies?" Remus asked.

Sirius shook his head. "Nope. Not interested in any of them."

Remus looked at James, "I would if one of them was Lily Evans," James replied.

Remus was secretly relieved that Sirius said he wasn't interested in the girls that watched him.

**~oOo~**

Remus enjoyed spending time with the other boys over those weeks. He felt normal when they were sitting around the dorm chatting, or watching them pull pranks, or asking his opinion, which happened often, as he was still shy around them.

He always gave his opinion, because when he did, Sirius would smile at him.

He found lessons more enjoyable, as he had Sirius or James to talk to or partner up with. When he wasn't sitting with Sirius and James, little notes would appear on his desk, which he would quickly write on and send back. During Arithmancy and Ancient Runes, he would still sit with Lily, as the boys didn't take those classes.

He knew that the friendship wouldn't last long. Hopefully they would make it to the end of the school year at least, by which time he decided he would have simply disappeared from their lives. That way, he could remember their friendship as it was right there and then, rather than picturing them looking at him with disappointment and disgust on their faces, which was inevitable if they ever found out the truth about him.

Plus, once he left, he would have to be registered, and then people would know what kind of monster he was. The problem he faced was that the decision to walk away was getting harder and harder for him, because no matter how much he told himself that he'd walk away from them at the end of the year, deep down, he knew it wouldn't be so easy.

Especially since he suspected that he was falling in love with Sirius Black.

**~oOo~**

The days to the full moon passed by fast, and there was less than a week left when Sirius found himself glaring at Snape, who was watching them yet again.

"Why is he always watching?" Sirius growled, as he kept his eyes locked with the Slytherin.

"He's been watching Remus, I've seen him stare at him more than us, and he watches if Remus leaves the hall first, then he stops staring at us." James said, his eyes moving to look at the Slytherin.

"But why?" Sirius asked, his eyes still locked.

"Isn't it obvious?" Remus asked, and Sirius turned to him, waiting to hear.

"Well, at first I found it really creepy, and then I realised he must be jealous of how good my hair looks... Or maybe he just wants to shag me?" Remus gave a shudder.

The boys let out a laugh. "Can you blame him though, I mean look at you Remus," Sirius said with a wink, causing Remus to blush.

"Yeah, well... he's been watching me all week, staring every meal, during class. It's really weird," Remus said, frowning in Snape's direction, and trying to ignore Sirius' last comment.

"You knew he was staring all this time?" James asked.

Remus shrugged. "I'm used to it. He's not the only one staring at me, check out the Ravenclaw table."

"What? Is someone giving you trouble?" Sirius said angrily, glaring at the Ravenclaw table, searching out anyone that was looking at Remus wrong.

"No, let's just say that I have no wish to tutor Michelle Abbott again."

Sirius moved his eyes to the girl at the table, who was looking over and flicking her hair.

"Didn't you tutor her last week?" Sirius frowned, trying to remember, and Remus nodded.

"Remus, I think you're in there," James said, wiggling his eyebrows.

Remus just shook his head. "No, I don't think so," he said, turning back to his food. "She literally threw herself across a table during studying in an attempt to snog me. I had to grab my books and run fast. Good thing I have quick reflexes."

Sirius looked amused.

"She didn't get the hint and she follows me sometimes. Can't seem to shake her off. I think you were right about the groupies, I think she's my groupie. Now how do I get rid of her?" Remus continued, looking between the boys for a suggestion.

"She keeps looking at you," James pointed out.

"Don't look back at her. When they think I'm looking, they try talk to me. Now really, please, how do I get rid of her? I don't like this." Remus whined.

"Are you too shy?" Sirius teased.

"Just not interested," Remus said, starting to sound frustrated.

"In girls?" James asked, with a smirk.

"I... It's... I..." Remus sounded flustered. "I don't fancy Michelle Abbott or the girls that have approached me. They're not my type... I don't like... umm blondes." Remus used blondes as a code word when he meant girls, but his friends needn't know that.

James and Sirius shared a look. Clearly both wondering if Remus didn't like the girls that approached him, or if he was gay. Sirius clearly hoped for the latter, because when he ran the words through his head, it sounded like Remus said blondes when he really meant girls. He grinned at his new friend.

"Cool, I don't like blondes either," Sirius said, also meaning girls. He winked at Remus who blushed and looked away, feeling slightly disappointed that he had blonde hair, and thinking that Sirius actually meant blondes.

"Although I don't mind your sort of blonde, Remus," Sirius added, realising his mistake, and giving a tug on a strand of Remus' hair. "You have nice hair," he mumbled, "it's really soft..."

James kicked Sirius under the table, and Sirius quickly let go of Remus' hair and turned back to his plate.

**~oOo~**

The evening before the full moon, Sirius and James forced Remus to attend dinner, and when they got there, they left a quiet Remus to eat, noticing that Snape looked extremely gleeful. Remus had spent the previous couple of days avoiding them, and withdrawing into himself.

"Do you think he has something to do with how Remus has been acting? He seems overly happy, I mean, I've never seen him this happy over anything," James said very quietly, and Sirius agreed.

"We'll deal with him soon enough," Sirius muttered, looking at Remus with a concerned look, as the werewolf distractedly ate his dinner, keeping his gaze away from his friends.

The next morning, Remus wasn't acting like himself in the slightest. He received a letter when the owls arrived with post, and looked at Professor McGonagall at the Professors' table, before rushing off to lessons.

After lunch, Remus didn't attend the other lessons and Sirius and James spoke quietly about it.

"I think he's going home today. He's not himself, he seems very upset and he's pushing us away... It's been about a month now." James said.

"Yeah, I was thinking that, plus once he got the letter, he kept looking at Minnie, and she'd know if he was leaving, right?" Sirius said.

"Have a word with him after dinner, but don't be pushy. Just remind him that we're his friends, and if he needs to talk he can come to us. He's withdrawn, so maybe he's still wary about us," James said.

"Yeah, I'll bring some dinner up if he doesn't show," Sirius decided, glad that James was taking an interest in all of this.

They went down to dinner, and Sirius knew that Remus had no intention of turning up, so he repeated his idea from the previous month, Transfiguring tubs and putting food into them. He rushed up to the dorm and arrived as Remus was about to leave the room.

**~oOo~**

Remus backed up, away from the doorway, letting Sirius into the room. He kept his eyes diverted as Sirius took him in, seeing the warm robes and his bag.

"Stay!"

"I can't."

"You can. It's safer for you here."

"It's not, trust me on that, Sirius."

"Can I... I mean, I could come with you?"

"I'm sorry, I have to go alone. I'll be back soon. It won't be so bad."

Sirius sighed and rubbed his hand over his face in frustration as he watched his friend fix his bag on his shoulder. He put the tubs down on the desk and turned back to Remus, noticing the boy was about to open the door.

"Remus?" Sirius said softly, and the other boy turned around. Sirius walked over and carefully put his arms around Remus, giving him a hug and holding tightly for a moment. Remus brought his hands up to awkwardly hug Sirius, before letting go.

Sirius wanted Remus to leave the school with a good thought; that his friends were here for him, at least, and a hug seemed the best way to show him that.

Sirius pulled back, his hands resting on Remus' shoulders. He looked into his green eyes, noticing the specks of amber in them. "Be safe okay? Promise if it gets too bad, you'll come back. If you need me, just owl me and I'll be straight there, even if it's the middle of the night. I'll stay awake in case."

The werewolf stayed silent, stunned by the hug Sirius had just given him and by how much the other boy seemed to care.

"Please, promise me," Sirius said, his voice sounding strained, his eyes never leaving Remus'.

Remus slowly nodded, as his heart started to pound. He was very aware of how close Sirius' face was to his. He was frozen in place, and the way Sirius was looking at him... made his head spin slightly.

Sirius had an overwhelming desire to pull Remus close to him and place his lips on Remus'. He had played it over and over in his head so many times. How easy it would be, to run a hand up to Remus' cheek and push his shaggy hair from his eyes. If the boy didn't pull away, Sirius would gently press his lips against Remus', kissing him softly and slowly, knowing Remus would be shy at first and that he'd have to coax Remus into relaxing in his arms. He wondered if Remus had ever been kissed before, he hoped not, he would love to be Remus' first kiss, be the first one to run his fingers through Remus' hair, the first one to...

"Sirius?" came a confused voice.

Sirius realised he had been holding Remus in place for longer than necessary. Hearing his name brought him back to reality.

He realised that it was a bad idea to kiss Remus at that moment, because he needed friends to confide in, he needed Sirius and James to help him, to protect him, to be there for him. A kiss would complicate things for the shy boy.

Sirius knew it was best to wait until the other boy was safe from harm before showing Remus he had feelings for him. Once Sirius had convinced him not to return home, or once they had left school and Remus was living with him and James, then he would ask Remus to be with him. He could wait until then.

Their first kiss should also not coincide with a day tainted by Remus' family hurting him, it should be after Sirius took him on a date, or did something nice for him, like a picnic – Remus liked being outside, they could have it by the lake.

Instead, he let go and satisfied himself with gently brushing a strand of hair from Remus' eyes.

"I need you to come back to me safe," he said softly, before stepping back, allowing space for the other boy to move away.

Remus looked at him with wide eyes. "Sirius," he began, his voice low, "I'll be safe, I'll see you soon, I promise," he whispered, a shy smile appearing on his face, and he turned around and left the room, closing the door behind him.

As he walked through the school, Remus remembered what he had worked out that month about suspecting that he was falling for Sirius. He was positive now. He was falling for the other boy and falling hard. There was something about the way Sirius had looked into his eyes, the expression on his face, the gentle way he brushed Remus' hair from his eyes... He had honestly thought Sirius would try and kiss him, and was disappointed that he hadn't.

As he made his way to the Whomping Willow, he realised he must have been completely mistaken about Sirius – because why would Sirius Black want to kiss him, when the handsome wizard could have almost anyone in the school? Remus decided he must have read the situation wrong, he was confusing a caring friend with something much more. He would never have someone to love, so why kid himself now?

But at least he had the memory of their few minutes in the dorm for when he was alone in the shack. He would return to James and Sirius afterwards, he wouldn't be alone for too long.

**~oOo~**

Sirius waited a couple of minutes, taking a couple of deep breathes, before leaving to head to dinner. He couldn't believe he had only been up there for 20 minutes. He pulled a mirror from his robes, and said James' name.

"Mate, keep some food for me, I'm coming back down," he told him, and put the mirror away.

He went to the hall and James knew how it went.

"I couldn't talk him out of going," Sirius said, sitting down. "I'm scared. What if it's worse than last time? What if he doesn't come back this time?"

They sat quietly, thinking about Remus, before James pulled Sirius up, in the hopes of discussing it properly in the dorms, where they wouldn't be overheard.

They started walking back towards the Common room, but had barely moved away from the Great Hall before they realised they were being followed.

Without warning they both spun around, wands drawn, to find Severus Snape standing calmly at the end of their wands.

"Do you want to know where Lupin really goes when he says his mother is ill?" Snape asked them.

Sirius frowned and looked at James. "What do you know of it, Snivellous?" James snapped.

"I've seen where he really goes, and I know his secret." Snape smirked.

* * *

**Again, please review :)**

**I love reviews :)**


End file.
